


the holidate

by steviewrites



Series: cadnis [4]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Christmas Shopping, Crushes, F/F, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Friendship, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:34:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21769954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steviewrites/pseuds/steviewrites
Summary: cady has the perfect date in mind—just not (technically) with janis.
Relationships: Cady Heron/Janis Sarkisian
Series: cadnis [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1480391
Comments: 8
Kudos: 56





	the holidate

**Author's Note:**

> writing this was harder than i thought it would be. seasonal depression is kicking my ass, but here it is!

Janis isn’t really sure what to expect when Cady comes speeding into homeroom, clutching her notebook of ideas to her chest like someone’s going to steal it.

“Guys!” she hisses, hurrying down the aisle and seating herself on top of Damian’s desk. He glances at Janis with raised eyebrows, but she merely lifts a shoulder, figuring whatever Cady has up her sleeve, it’ll certainly be entertaining.

“What’s up, our little elf?” Janis drawls, continuing her cartoon sketch of Damian as Santa.

Beaming, Cady flips to a page in her journal, then tosses her hair over one shoulder with an exhilarated sigh. “Okay. So. I have this idea.”

Damian nods to the sticker-covered notebook. “Ya don’t say.”

She pokes him in the forehead. “I have this idea,” she repeats, and waits til Janis gives Cady her undivided attention to elaborate. “Well, actually, a whole bunch of ideas.”

Damian puts his chin in both hands. “Do tell us, darling,” he breathes, and Janis rolls her eyes at them affectionately.

Cady presses her lips together impishly, pausing for dramatic effect, then announces with gusto, “I came up with this thing called a _holidate_. And I know just who I’m gonna ask.”

Janis feels her spine go taut nervously, and she has no idea why. Drumming her pencil on her desk, she fixes Cady with a quizzical look. “A what now?”

“A holidate!” Cady echoes brightly, shimmying her shoulders. “It’s a Christmas-themed date. I’m gonna ask Dante, that cute new exchange student.”

“The Spanish kid?” Janis asks distantly, staring at Damian’s sketched face, suddenly at a loss for how to continue.

“Italian,” Cady corrects, unfazed by her weird reaction. “He’s really nice. He sits next to me in biology and was telling me about how his family celebrates Christmas in Italy. I wanna take him out and show him American Christmas culture.”

Janis snorts, and it comes off sounding more judgy than intended. “You’ve lived here for a year and think you know all about Christmas in America,” she remarks, now letting a bit of snark slip into her voice.

She can’t help it. Something inside her is undeniably, suddenly, fiercely jealous.

She halfheartedly chalks it up to the fact she’s never been on a date, and wishes finding girls worth dating was as easy for her as finding boys is for Cady. She wants to be able to take a girl out and do stupid holiday stuff, too. But even if she could, they wouldn’t have the luxury of PDA or whatever else straight people do on a date.

Cady has gone quiet, and the silence has stretched for too long. Shame colors Janis’s skin from her neck to her hairline, and the instantaneous remorse feels like a gut punch.

“I dunno, I did a lot of Googling,” Cady murmurs, like she has to explain herself and her sweet, creative mind. Janis’s envy aside, she’s sure Cady’s date plan is wonderful.

Ms. Norbury calls for attendance before Janis gets a chance to apologize, and Cady flops into the seat in front of Damian with a dejected little huff. Damian gives Janis this look that clearly says _Come on, don’t be a dick,_ and Janis blinks back tears.

Their busy morning makes getting the chance to talk to Cady difficult, and it isn’t until lunch that Janis finally shuffles up to Cady’s locker, where her friend is putting her stuff away prior to—likely reluctantly—joining them in the cafeteria.

“Hey,” Janis says when all Cady does is give her a quick, wary glance. The worst part is how sad she looks—not even angry, just bummed. Janis popped her innocent, cheery bubble all because she can’t keep her big mouth shut.

“I’m sorry,” Janis begins awkwardly as Cady turns the dial on her locker. “I was, uh, not that nice about your…holidate. I think it’s cute, really. But that comment I made was kinda mean, and I’m sorry.”

Cady crosses her arms, studying the pins on Janis’s jacket. Janis fidgets uncomfortably, selfishly hoping she’ll say it’s fine and they’ll go back to normal right away.

Then Cady’s grinning wickedly, and Janis can literally see another idea pop into her head as she raises her eyes to Janis’s. “I know how you can make it up to me,” she replies furtively, and Janis’s stomach does this funny flipping thing she’s never felt before.

“Okay,” she answers hesitantly, her cheeks inexplicably flushing again.

“Go out with me first,” Cady suggests, and Janis’s jaw drops. “Help me test run my holidate.”

Janis’s brain short circuits in surprise, thrown by hearing _Go out with me_ from Cady, of all people. “You want me to—you wanna what?” she stammers, unsure if she heard right.

Cady claps, jogging in place ecstatically. “Well, I gotta make sure everything is perfect, don’t I?” she says rhetorically. “Like, all the places I wanna take him, I wanna be sure he’ll have fun, ya know? That we’re gonna do the cool stuff he’ll tell his friends back in Italy about.”

Janis licks her lips, for they’d gone dry in her open-mouthed shock. “Uh—yeah,” she agrees blankly. Her whole body is simultaneously hot and cold.

“So you’ll do it?” Cady inquires hopefully, seizing her elbows. Janis looks down into her wide, eager eyes of the clearest blue, practically twinkling with the Christmas magic she wants to show Domenic. Dino. Durante. Whatever his name is.

“Go—go on a fake date with you?” Janis’s voice is very high, like she inhaled helium.

“Yeah!” Cady bobs her head, curls bouncing. “Go on a fake holidate with me!”

“Okay,” Janis says again, coming back to herself somewhat. She’s not entirely convinced she didn’t fall asleep during French class, but if this is a dream, she sort of wants to stay here.

“Eek! You’re the best!” Cady throws her arms around her. “Oh, thank you, Janis! I was gonna ask you anyway but now you’re obligated to do it because you made fun of me!”

Janis chokes on a mix between a laugh and a sound she doesn’t have a name for. “Right.”

Now she’s terrified, because she doesn’t know if this is a good or bad thing. And the fact it isn’t obvious is what scares her the most.

* * *

On Saturday, Janis reluctantly parks in the Herons’ driveway, really and truly unsure what to expect. Her head is spinning with anxiety, and she fights the urge to run back to her truck as she trudges up the porch steps to the door, which blows open before she even has a chance to knock.

“Hi!” Cady exclaims, and Janis very swiftly slams the lid on what would’ve been a physical reaction to how pretty she looks. Red turtleneck, black skinny jeans, perfect caramel curls. Her eyeliner makes her eyes pop in a way Janis wasn’t prepared for.

“Hi,” she echoes, stuffing her hands in her jacket pockets so Cady won’t notice them shaking, and not because of the December chill.

Cady ushers her inside, already babbling about where she wants to go first. Her voice is so peppy and hopeful, it makes Janis somehow more nervous. She knows this isn’t an actual date—a mere test run like Cady said. But she still feels like there’s an unspoken expectation she needs to live up to, and also a glaringly obvious fact that she is pointedly refusing to acknowledge. She can feel it in her chest, her stomach, swirling inside her like snow.

It’s just been a weird few days. That’s all it is. It doesn’t mean anything.

It _can’t_ mean anything. Or else everything would change, when everything is fine as it is.

Cady runs upstairs to grab her bag and shoes, leaving Janis to ward off an anxiety attack in the foyer. She leans against the wall for a moment, closing her eyes to just breathe. She can hear Cady walking in her room, can estimate when the door will squeak open and her feet will jog down the stairs.

Janis straightens up when Cady emerges right when she knew she would, and can’t help but smile to herself as her eager friend reappears, now wearing a jean jacket over her sweater.

“You look really cute,” Janis compliments, unable to stop herself.

“Thanks,” Cady chirps, rising on her toes to check her reflection in the small mirror by the door. Janis can see her own face behind Cady, and she looks peaky.

“Thank you for doing this,” Cady says as Janis starts the engine, turning up the heat so Cady won’t shiver to death.

Janis lifts a shoulder nonchalantly. “No problem. Though you did sorta guilt trip me into it.”

Cady scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Oh, stop. You started it, silly.”

“Maybe.” Janis presses her lips together and Cady snickers. Grinning, Janis carefully backs out onto the street and heads back the way she came. “Where to first?”

“Downtown,” Cady replies, consulting the list she apparently has on her phone. At a stop sign, Janis glances at it, smirking at the corresponding emojis by every activity. How Karen of her.

The sky is crisp and blue when they exit Janis’s truck after she searches for a parking spot for a solid five minutes. They have to take the elevator down to the ground level since the only available spaces left were at the very top of the garage; Cady presses against Janis’s side as the elevator thrums downward, still unused to the odd pressure moving beneath their feet.

“Okay, so, first I’m gonna take him to that cute little vintage shop down this street,” Cady informs Janis, pointing to the end of the bustling block.

“Okay,” Janis says neutrally, as they fall into step beside each other on the sidewalk. “Does he like vintage stuff?”

Her throat closes around the word _he._ It’s not even his name, and it fills her with envy.

“I dunno,” Cady answers lightly. “I hope so. My mom and I went a couple weeks ago, we got some stuff for my grandparents. There’s lots of sweet little Christmassy things. You’ll see.”

She sounds so excited and impish, Janis feels the need to remind her this isn’t the actual date, that the person striding along next to her isn’t a handsome Italian kid.

But, selfishly, she doesn’t. Again, she knows the jealousy has more than one layer, that it’s staring her right in the face—but she can’t try to unpack it, certainly not now, when their adventure has just begun. And she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if _she_ ruined Cady’s whole day.

The bell above the door tinkles when they walk in, and Janis can see why Cady is endeared by the store just from that alone. It’s small and cozy, brown plank walls and soft glowy lights, and it smells like cinnamon. Classic Christmas songs hum from a music player on the front counter.

Janis suddenly feels very tall and giant, afraid to go any further given the delicacy of the little items on display. But she’s forced to when Cady grabs her sleeve, without looking back like she knows her friend is hesitant. Janis slinks close to Cady now, glancing around both nervously and with awe. It’s very cute, and while she’s sure Italy probably has stores like this, she thinks Cady is as well for wanting to share it with _him._

Janis has already forgotten his name. Or she’s just tuning it out, for Cady has been saying it all day. Oops.

They meander quietly around the store, Cady squealing over basically everything like she’s never been in here before. An older grey-haired woman emerges from the back and greets them with surprise in her voice, like they’re the first people she’s seen all day—maybe even all week—and Cady replies in kind.

The lady evidently recognizes Cady and asks how she’s been, and as they chat Janis drifts to the back where intricately painted holiday cards are for sale on the wall. Her shoulders relax and her mind calms a bit the longer she looks; even though she didn’t create any of these, the mere chance to appreciate someone else’s art makes her feel better.

Overall it’s a very Cady-esque store, and she gets why Cady wanted—or, wants to go, with what’s-his-face—and when her head clears some she’s able to find a happy little trinket of a dancing penguin wearing a Santa hat, for Damian. Cady gushes over it as the woman rings it up, seeming pleased.

“Where to next, miss?” Janis asks as they walk out, putting the wrapped gift in her backpack.

Cady consults her list. “Oh! Starbucks. Gotta try those seasonal drinks.”

Janis swallows a laugh, not wanting to be more mean to Cady than she already has been this week. “You _have_ tried all their holiday drinks. Mochas, lattes, frappuccinos…”

Cady rolls her stupid blue eyes. “Janis. This test run will not be sufficient or complete unless we do _everything_ on the list,” she insists, then gets this funny look on her face as something occurs to her, and glances down at her phone prior to sucking in a tiny breath and adding, “Well, almost everything.”

Janis frowns, initially confused, then her stomach does this awful somersault when she figures it out. Something along the lines of basic PDA at some point, she assumes. Of course Cady would put a dumb first kiss on the even dumber list.

But she rearranges her face before Cady can see, and the smaller girl perks up like nothing weird just happened and grabs Janis’s elbow to lead her along to the closest Starbucks.

While they wait in line, Janis demands to pay for both their orders, which downright flusters Cady in a way she’s never witnessed before. The color rises in her cheeks and around her eyes, and there’s an undercurrent of not-quite-embarrassment in her voice as she argues—but Janis ultimately wins, smugly so, and shares a look with the obviously fellow gay girl manning the register.

Smitten lesbians will stop at nothing to get what they want.

Cady begrudgingly accepts her eggnog frappuccino and trails after Janis, who’s sipping her peppermint hot chocolate and smirking.

“You get on my nerves, you know that?” Cady mumbles, and Janis ruffles her curls.

“It’s what besties are for,” Janis replies sweetly, emphasizing the S’s and sounding eerily like her younger Plastic self—not that Cady would recognize her.

They sip their drinks as they window shop, the air getting frostier and the sky growing greyer with potential snow as the night approaches. Cady inches close to Janis again. It’s nice to be needed, even just for this.

Their next destination is a secret, and right when Janis thinks they’re going to go left to enter the bookstore, Cady walks to the right towards the pet store. Janis stops on the sidewalk, watching her disappear past the sliding doors, wondering how on earth visiting baby animals—while fun—is Christmassy.

When she goes in, Cady is standing by the puppy pen, reaching in to let a golden retriever lick her fingertips. Janis drifts over, her splintered heart softened by both Cady’s tenderness and the adorable puppies, who are wearing holiday sweaters.

“Not that I’m complaining,” Janis begins as she cradles a Chihuahua in one arm, supervised by the nearby employee, “but this an American holiday tradition?”

Cady makes a sheepish face, sitting cross-legged on the floor with a dachshund pup wiggling in her lap. “Well, no,” she says, and her expression is so precious, Janis can hardly stand it. “But they’re cute as heck.”

“Touché.” Janis nods, kissing the Chihuahua’s teeny head.

An unusual date destination, but if it makes sense in Cady’s mind, Janis won’t question it.

All things considered, today has been pretty fun. Janis just hopes Cady’s new crush will be just as enthused by everything she has planned, otherwise Janis will have to corner him and give him a stern talking-to on not appreciating the wonders of Cady Heron’s great ideas.

She might not _want_ them to go on a date, but that doesn’t mean she hopes it goes terribly. Cady doesn’t deserve that, least of all from a dumb boy. Janis is mature enough to admit she wants it to go well, even if it stings.

The lights and decorations are on full display when they eventually leave the pet store, and Cady gasps softly at how glowy everything is now that it’s grown dark. They walk aimlessly, just looking at the holly-wrapped lampposts and strings of twinkling bulbs above them and the figurines outside the shops. Cady gives a couple dollars to a Santa collecting donations for a local charity, and Janis gets asked to take a picture for a group of friends.

“What?” she says after they’ve kept walking, for Cady is giving her this look.

Cady shrugs, bumping her shoulder to Janis’s. “Nothing. That was nice.”

Janis scoffs. “I did a nice thing for some strangers. Should I be offended you’re shocked?”

Cady rolls her eyes. “ _No_ ,” she responds curtly. “I just—I don’t know. I think you think you’re not as nice as you really are. You aren’t selectively nice, you just are.”

Janis isn’t sure what to make of that, but appreciates the unexpected compliment. “Thanks,” she says, letting her uncertainty color her voice, and Cady takes her hand. She squeezes, suddenly filled with a fear she can’t name, like this is somehow their last adventure together.

“Thank you,” Cady murmurs a few minutes later, and Janis looks down at her, stopping on the sidewalk. Something just compels her to.

“For what?” she inquires. Their hands are still linked. Cady’s fingers are stiff from the cold, but thawing with Janis’s.

Cady toes at the cement. “Doing this with me. It means a lot. I know you think it’s dumb—”

“I don’t think it’s dumb,” Janis interrupts gently, heart panging with guilt that Cady is still hurt by what she said. “Really, I don’t. This has been a lot of fun. And—” She swallows her pride now, knowing how much this next admission will mean to her friend. “Dante will have fun, too. He’ll love seeing the puppies. If he doesn’t, dump him, because anyone who doesn’t like puppies in Christmas sweaters can’t be trusted.”

Cady laughs, actually throws her head back and laughs louder than any chiming bell. “True,” she agrees, gripping Janis’s hand a little tighter. “Thank you. I hope he has fun.”

It gets quiet again as she pulls out her phone to check her list, and in the light of the nearby store Janis sees her blush. “There’s one more thing, but we don’t have to do that,” she explains when Janis raises an eyebrow. “Or—well, we can’t.”

Janis pouts. “Why not? What is it?”

Cady points to the mistletoe that’s dangling under a streetlight a few feet away, and Janis tries very hard not to ruin the moment with whatever expression attempts to creep over her face when she realizes what’s left on the list.

“Oh,” she says hollowly, scratching her neck, hating that her earlier assumption was right.

“Yeah.” Cady clears her throat and tucks her phone back into her pocket. “So, that’s basically it. Do you think I should take him to dinner, too? Or is that too formal too soon?”

“Depends on where you’d go,” Janis says, uncomfortable again but trying to be helpful. “And if he’s hungry. Maybe keep the first date casual. Get croissants at Starbucks while you’re at it. I don’t know.”

Cady nods, thinking over the suggestion. “Yeah. I’ll ask him, I guess. See how he feels.”

Janis is still stuck on the fact Cady is so certain of a first kiss that she added it to the list. And just how Cady it is to do that, to write down everything she wants to do instead of letting it play out naturally. How many people have a comprehensive list of things to do on a singular date, in order? Probably not a lot. That’s the most Cady Heron thing ever.

Not that it’s a bad thing, Janis thinks it’s cute, and nice that she has ideas and wants it all to go just right for a guy she likes—doing it the normal way this time, or redefining what normal is in Cady terms.

She really is so bright and funny and creative, putting her heart into whatever it is she does, just because she’s determined to do the best she can. Part of it is probably overcompensation for the mess of junior year, but Janis doesn’t want her to hold that over her own head forever, especially not if Janis and Damian had a hand in the whole thing, too.

But Cady cares so deeply about everything. She always has to simply _try._

From the day they first met, that’s what Janis liked most about her. Her resilience and unwavering desire to keep going, keep trying. A year later, she’s still changing Janis’s life, making her want to be better, though no one in the world could ever hold a candle to Cady.

Her heart aches, but not in a bad way; it aches with how much it loves Cady, yearns to nurture that bright little thing inside her that makes everyone around her soak up her energy and try themselves. Whatever it is, it’s a gift, one that Janis hopes Cady never exchanges for popularity and praise ever again.

She lets herself feel it now, her walls crashing down without her realizing. Her pulse quickens and something warm rises in her face. But she welcomes it, because ironically Cady wouldn’t want her to shut out her own feelings anymore. It’s terrifying and fierce and loud—it’s love in its rawest form, beating hard against Janis’s ribcage like the wings of a hawk.

No one loves Cady like Janis does. No one could love her like Janis can. Not another girl, not Dante. Whether that matters to Cady or not is irrelevant, because now at least Janis knows it, and that’s really what means the most. First loves are many things, and easy is not one of them.

“What?” Cady pipes up, breaking her trance, and though it feels like they’ve been standing here in the middle of this pause for years, it’s only been a few seconds.

Janis shrugs, swinging her foot out to continue walking, pulling along the biggest star in her universe and never wanting to let go. “Nothing. Let’s get outta here before we freeze to death. Unless that’s on your list?”

Cady rolls her eyes, but laughs, jogging to keep up with Janis’s lanky strides, like she did on her first day, and hopefully will forever.

* * *

Janis loiters outside the library the following Monday for a solid five minutes, biting her nail and going over all the potential outcomes in her head. Her anxiety tells her it’s going to go horribly wrong, but her wishful thinking is trying to stay positive.

After all, looking on the bright side is what Cady does.

Straightening her shoulders, Janis exhales and pushes open the door, feeling very noisy and attention-seeking upon setting foot in the hush-quiet library. But nobody seems to notice her, and she forces her legs to keep going, holding her bag to her side nervously.

She loses her breath when she spots Cady, sitting alone at a table with her notebooks all laid out. Her back is to Janis, giving Janis another minute to gather the rest of her courage.

“Hey,” she ultimately hisses, leaning around a bookshelf. Cady jumps, startled, then turns in her seat to regard Janis with surprise.

“Hi,” she whispers, waving her pencil in greeting.

“Um—don’t go out with Dante,” Janis blurts without an introduction, and Cady’s face gets adorable and pinched with confusion.

“What, why?” she inquires, holding off on being hurt just yet, since it’s not like Janis to hunt her down in the library for no reason.

“Because, uh… You’re gonna be going out with me,” Janis explains, heart in her throat, and Cady stares at her incomprehensively. “Like, on a holidate. Except it’s my version.”

“What?” Cady says again, but there’s a hint of a smile playing on her mouth, like maybe this is what she wanted all along (again, wishful thinking, but _maybe_ ).

Janis grins cheekily. “Yeah. I don’t think he’s right for you. No offense.”

Cady arches an eyebrow in a very Janis-esque fashion. “But you are?”

“Well, I guess we’ll find out on our date,” Janis teases, showing all her teeth in a silly smile, and Cady snickers. “So, like, Friday? I’ll pick you up at five?”

Cady’s expression turns soft then, her eyes glassy, like she’s having a realization of her own. But she smiles, shy now, and nods eagerly. “Yeah, I’d like that,” she replies, biting her lip.

“Grool.” Janis salutes her in farewell and disappears, seemingly nonchalant but actually exploding on the inside.

Who knew Janis Sarkisian could beat the odds stacked against her in this school, and finally get everything she ever wanted.

If anyone deserves it, it’s her. And thanks to Cady, she believes it.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! kudos and comments are fetch ♡
>
>> **find me:**   
>  [twitter](https://twitter.com/wantingmylove)   
>  [tumblr](https://cadyjanis.tumblr.com)


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